- There are a few clues that you are in toxic relationships:
- Your partner put you down, verbally, in front of others.
- Your partner says he loves you, but his actions don’t back up his words.
- He’s controlling, doing things such as reading your mail or checking up on you.
- He tries to make you dependent on him.
- He wants you to change things about yourself to please him, even if you don’t want to.
- It’s hard to feel good being around toxic people. So, how do you end up in a toxic relationship? Why do people stay with someone who makes them feel emotional or physical pain?
There is a cycle to toxic relationships. After a blow up, there’s a honeymoon period which is followed by reconciliation.
Eventually this cycle will repeat itself, over and over.
The honeymoon period begins when you first meet. By the time you get to the blow up, you’re already sucked in. It’s not until the blow up that you realize you’re in a toxic relationship. By that time, it’s difficult to leave.
You may believe that this person can change. Since they don’t seem toxic during the honeymoon and reconciliation stage, it seems like things can get better. But many toxic people were raised in toxic environments. They are repeating the same patterns that they saw in their childhood.
They may not know they’re doing it or why they’re doing it and in some cases they don’t know any better. Not all people raised in toxic homes become toxic, some discover that they want to help people or grow to believe they deserve happiness and these people do make necessary changes. So having a rough childhood is no excuse.
If you’re in toxic relationships you need to get out.
The first step is to realize that you have choices. Low self esteem or depression can often keep you in a bad relationship. Some people stay to avoid loneliness. Since your toxic relationship is further damaging your emotional well being, this can keep you in this toxic relationship cycle forever. You need to be the one to break this cycle and learn how to stay out of toxic relationships.
When you realize you have choices, you can start standing up for yourself. In a toxic relationship your partner may blame you for all of your relationship’s problems. If you believe this, it can be hard to leave or set boundaries to protect yourself so that you can have time to rebuild and heal your life.
Therapy groups can help you either leave or redefine the toxic relationships in your life. These groups work for some people. Some people are able to do this on their own. Some can do it with coaching. But the good news is, it’s possible to end the cycle of toxic patterns.
Should you stay or walk away from toxic relationships.
Some women have been able to leave the toxic relationship and form a new healthy relationship with someone new. In some cases, women have been able to repair their relationship and live a good life. But in those cases, both partners have to be willing to make the necessary changes.
If you plan on trying to save your toxic relationship you still need to leave. Give you and him a little space, some time apart. Get counseling, if you need it. Then you can decide if you want to go back to your partner.
You need to decide if this relationship will improve. If not, you need to be willing to let go and move on. If you’re not willing to let go of the toxic relationship you’ll never completely heal.
The dependency you had in your toxic relationship has kept you from getting your relationship needs met. Once you’re liberated from this, you can start asserting what your needs are. You don’t want to nag, but you need to let people know what you need from them, and be open to what they need from you
The key to success after toxic relationships is to know that if your needs are not being met in a relationship, you need to be able to walk away. Healthy relationships are a two way street.
Wishing you happiness in love and life,
Whether you want to save your relationship or leave, there are certain things you need to do. Go here to learn one of the best ways to get started.